Well this one had war written all over it. Only thing missing was a Red Arrows flypast.

For starters, Metalist playing in their home city of Kharkiv risks bombs falling during the game without warning. So not much point playing there.

Here in Kyiv, sirens go off well before any cruise missile/Russian rocket hits the city. Most are shot down.

In Kharkiv, close to the border, you take your chances. One guy told me: ‘My friend there says that when they bomb he just goes to sit on the toilet and pray.’

Metalist play at this club’s spanking new stadium, so fresh you could almost smell the bubble wrap and I started looking round for those cheesy Wotsit-sized foamy things. But they seem to have hoovered them all up.

Livyi Bereg is Ukrainian for ‘left bank’, a reference to the left side of the river, as the Dnieper flows down to the Black Sea. The team is only six years old and one of its founders was the former Ukraine caretaker manager Mykola Pavlov.

Generally viewed as the less salubrious area of Kyiv it is nevertheless home to quite a few posh palatial places.

And, I tell you, it’s a bugger to get to. I’d ask for a medal but that seems inappropriate, given the circumstances. Bus 425 from Slavutych metro gets you near. It’s so bloody miles out of town, I began wondering if it was in Moldova.

Turns out it wasn’t.

My thanks to Pavlo in the press office but particularly to Irina Shastova whose winning charms got me stuck on the press box list. There was a splendid selection of black teas in a furniture-free press room, and some slightly stale biscuits which were all gone by the second half.

The chaps came up with a respectful national anthem. These really stir your heart:

Vorskla came out like a pack of wolves and crackled into action, given they were so bad just four days earlier in Poltava. Bit of a shock that.

This wasn’t a league game by the way. Ukraine’s cup is called the Kybok, so we got an early evening kick-off in the last 16.

England have Harry Kane, Vorskla have Malian midfielder Ibrahim Kane and a tremendous move down the right after 15 minutes saw him skip through to finish with the dynamic narrow-angle flourish. A cracking goal to get us going.

In first half extra time Ruslan Stepanyuk made it two.

But it was the half time break that was the showstopper. It’s not an exaggeration to say that it will stay with me forever.

New stadiums have such advanced sound systems that a gnat’s fart can be amplified to sound like a nuclear strike.

Metalist brought out their banger, which I’d never heard before. Louder than loud, we need to make up a new word for this sort of stuff.

It was so (insert new word) you couldn’t fail to pay attention. It shook me to my testicles and, possibly, beyond.

Don’t watch this if you are squeamish. It came on the video screen on the opposite empty stand. There were perhaps 100 people there, and they probably knew what to expect. I didn’t. Brace yourself!

Imagine something that graphic being played at a British game.

Despite 150-plus Wales games driving me to distraction I’d never cried at one. Honest. This time it took me two minutes.

Turns out Fortress Bakhmut by Antytila has already been viewed 18 million times this year, so I’m way behind the zeitgeist.

What can I say – it’s another supreme example of why Ukraine is so extraordinary. Its art, its heart, its sheer ingenuity, as if the world’s creative juices are at their richest here whether it’s the skill of fighting for your own existence despite Russian air superiority or just grappling with the chores of daily life.

Antytila roused me so much it was difficult to concentrate on the second half. Vorskla were so clearly superior that the 45 minutes were unremarkable. Ivan Nestarenko, only 20, grabbed the third in the 74th minute.

Trainee journalist Igor from Poltava – there were possibly only four journalists in the press pack – told me Metalist didn’t field their first eleven and it showed. Vorskla waltzed it.

On a night when Kyiv minnow side Obolon Kyiv put city strutters Dinamo out – and with Shakhtar looking not a little puny – the Kybok is wide open for a lesser side to go a long way, win it even. I’ve got a mild thing for Vorskla so it would be great if they could do it but I’m not holding my breath.

All over by 9pm, Igor’s local naws ensured no long-winded return to the city centre from the froggy, boggy marshland south of this city of 4m. Taxi to the city still took at least 30 minutes though.

En route, he mentioned his 50-year-old actor father had been mobilised by the state.

While the absurdity of professional footballers playing in front of near-empty stadiums can alleviate the humdrum, lighten up your mood and get some people through the week, the conflict is never far away.