My, times have changed.
Here in the cetacean centre of the world, for one wonderful first half Craig Bellamy gave Wales a strong sense of porpoise, only to get harpooned in a crazy second half.
Beached Wales – Iceland 2 Wales 2
Ukraine Shap up nicely – Ukraine 2 Slovakia 1
Swear I heard the roar of relief from Vovchansk sweep across the stadium.
This one was for the boys and girls in the trenches, for sure!
And unlike in Munich many more Ukrainians were present. Roughly 6,000 againt Romania, perhaps 15,000 in smaller Dusseldorf.
Continue reading Ukraine Shap up nicely – Ukraine 2 Slovakia 1
Ukraine mullered in Munich – Romania 3 Ukraine 0
Perhaps the most anticipated game in the country’s history, what a shame many Ukraine fans weren’t able to attend. Some, of course, are no longer with us.
Half an hour before kick off a friend in Poltava messaged: “We’ve just got a bomb near my mum. They’re OK but very scared. Have a nice time.”
Which pretty much put everything in perspective. In the two hours or so of this match, it’s likely a few Ukrainians died on the front line fighting Putin.
This game was for them.
Continue reading Ukraine mullered in Munich – Romania 3 Ukraine 0
Outdoor snooker in Yerevan – Armenia 2 Wales 2 (2001)
MAX, the one-armed Armenian outdoor snooker supremo, was busy honing his skills as we strolled through Yerevan’s Victory Park.
Aged about 45, dressed in a blue shell suit and sporting three days’ bristle on his chin, he was the custodian of a tatty building with rotting timbers. Two pool tables stood on the grimy verandah.
This was Yerevan’s fabled outdoor snooker centre – a shanty town shack that looked ready to fall down.
A hundred yards away on top of a hill overlooking the city, a 100-foot high steel statue of Mother Armenia, surrounded by a tank, missile launcher and other armoured vehicles, stood sentinel over the capital.
Continue reading Outdoor snooker in Yerevan – Armenia 2 Wales 2 (2001)
The Road to Abovian – Armenia 1 Wales 0 (2001)
Crumbling tenements, potholes in all the roads, a delapidated stadium and some of the most lacerating poverty I’ve ever seen. It could only mean one thing. We were in the back of beyond watching the Welsh under-21s again.
The Greatest Fans in the World hired a fleet of taxis for the 20-minute trip to Abovian – that’s Abovian, not Aberfan – to see if our boys could record their first win in howevermany matches it is (someone reckons it’s 16, but, like the u-21 players, none of us particularly care).
Continue reading The Road to Abovian – Armenia 1 Wales 0 (2001)
War games – Metalist 1925 Kharkiv 0 Vorskla Poltava 3
Well this one had war written all over it. Only thing missing was a Red Arrows flypast.
For starters, Metalist playing in their home city of Kharkiv risks bombs falling during the game without warning. So not much point playing there.
Here in Kyiv, sirens go off well before any cruise missile/Russian rocket hits the city. Most are shot down.
In Kharkiv, close to the border, you take your chances. One guy told me: ‘My friend there says that when they bomb he just goes to sit on the toilet and pray.’
Continue reading War games – Metalist 1925 Kharkiv 0 Vorskla Poltava 3
Kryv-bashed! – Vorskla Poltava 1 Kryvbas 4
Does president Zelenskiy’s magical mojo extend to the team from his home town? They played like it has.
The crew from Kryvi Rih came back from one down to thrash the hosts with a slick, confident display that took them to top of the table for 24 hours until Shakhtar’s 1-1 draw returned them to first.
Last time I visited Vorskla, you could throw snowballs at the substitutes when it got boring. This time it was 28 degrees Centigrade.
Football on the moon – Shakhtar Donetsk 1 Obolon Kyiv 0
It seemed like this was played on the moon, at any rate.
Obviously it wasn’t, just in case you were wondering. And there were no Clangers at this game. Honest. I went looking.
Ukraine Premier League (UPL) has been played behind closed doors since Russia’s invasion in February last year.
For Shakhtar, effectively evicted from Donetsk in 2014, it’s been life on the road ever since.
Continue reading Football on the moon – Shakhtar Donetsk 1 Obolon Kyiv 0
Villarreal 0 Rayo 1
Smash and grab Rayo sneaked past a side with an impeccable European pedigree in a top-drawer statement victory.
The boys from the barrio are beginning to mug established Spanish names – not through a muscular display of bootboy thuggery but with a thoughtful and calm approach.
Superb defence frustrates big names perhaps thinking they’re in for an easy win, and killer goals just at the right time.
Rayo 0 Real Sociedad 2
Away from the swank and swagger of Real and Atletico, the boys from the barrio are back in La Liga punching above their weight again.
Now Gareth Bale has retired there’s no hope of seeing him in the lightning stripe kit. Perhaps he’ll buy them!
Anyway, after thumping Real Madrid in November this was a good test of whether Rayo could come up with another statement win against the mercurial San Sebastian side who were quite a long way back in third behind Real and Barcelona.
O Camel ye faithful – Qatar v Wales (pt two)
At the first floor Sheraton bar, Mark Hughes (72 caps, 16 goals) was being berated by a fan. “What the fuck have you ever done for Welsh football? We’ve done fuck all in the last ten years.”
Consternation. One of the greatest figures in the history Welsh football was copping a mouthful. Remember, this was his first game in sole charge of the national team.
A fan – I’ll call him The Camel, not because he drinks like one, but because he’ll get the hump if named – continued ranting.
The coach, Mark Bowen (41 caps, three goals) tried to intervene with a view to calming matters, whatever they were, down.
Continue reading O Camel ye faithful – Qatar v Wales (pt two)
Qatar v Wales (pt one)
IN FEBRUARY 2000 the Welsh football team was a shellshocked shitshow that would have given Michael Sheen shingles.
Wales were stranded in a seemingly permanent existential crisis, marooned in terms of self-regard and status – people openly scorned fans as being idiots for going to, say, Moldova, which they had hitherto thought was some type of cheese.
Miles from Nowhere 